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Joke of the Day

"""Monday's suck"" - Everyone. Apart from Ethiopian kids. For whom, every day sucks"

"It's bad luck to be superstitious."

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"

"My daughter wanted me to be a mime for her birthday party. I was speechless."

"someone asked me if i liked having long hair... i told them i didn't at first but it kinda grew on me."

"A guy walks into a bar and asks the guy across from him why his hands were all over his face: The guy across replies: ""Because I am a clock you drunk fuck."""

"Just beat Eminem 4000 straight times at musical chairs by playing ""The Real Slim Shady"" over and over."

"Me at a wine tasting: *swirls glass* *sniffs* *sips slowly* *stares off into the distance* ...Ah, yes. This is in fact wine."

"I disagree, but I respect your right to be stupid.!"

"Have you heard my joke about construction? I'm still working on it"