144696

Joke of the Day

"Two muffins... Two muffins in a pan are baking in the oven. One looks over at the other and says ""Wow it's getting really hot in here!"" The other replies ""Holy shit is that a talking muffin?"""

"What do you call a white guy who grew up in the ghetto? Tarzan."

"I can help anyone quit smoking by spraying them with hair spray as they light their cigarette."

"Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd."

"Bill Gates is giving 100k to help develop a better & safer condom. I don't care how good it is, im not wearing a condom that says Microsoft."

"hey, whats the definition of a will? come on guys, its a dead giveaway"

"Why did the kitchen cross the road? Because there was a woman on the other side."

"Another Calculus Joke! What is a derivative in a derivative? Inflection."

"What do you call a person with memory problems telling a joke? To get to the other side."

"So Cologne, Germany during WW2 was bombed and decimated by fire. I am sure the fire smelled pretty nice."