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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins... Two muffins in a pan are baking in the oven. One looks over at the other and says ""Wow it's getting really hot in here!"" The other replies ""Holy shit is that a talking muffin?"""

"Just saw 666 on a license plate and, in case you guys were wondering, Satan drives a Jeep."

"You know you've been coding for too long when... System.express(feelings.tired);"

"Steak puns... a rare medium well done."

"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard."

"The Conservation of the Letter R Everytime a Bostonian ""pahks his cah in the yahd"", a Texan warshes something"

"If I promise to miss you, will you go away?"

"I just found a half eaten hotdog inside of a Mr.Potatohead in the hamper. Living with a toddler is like living with a tiny hammered person."

"Love you in different language English..... I Love You Spanish..... Te Amo French...... Je T'aime German...... Ich Liebe Dich Redneck..... Nice Tits"

"What do women and hurricanes have in common? When they come, they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take the house."