207420

Joke of the Day

"The Conservation of the Letter R Everytime a Bostonian ""pahks his cah in the yahd"", a Texan warshes something"

"On your first day at the beach, go up to the toughest-looking guy there, and let the air out of his water-wings."

"Why did the computer split up with the programming language. Because 1 or more arguments were invalid!"

"I am happy to report this vodka works."

"Life of a chef must suck. All your work eventually turns to shit."

"He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number."

"I don't understand the big deal about same sex marriage Ask any married couple, they'll tell you the sex has been the same for years"

"My alarm is so needy... it wants attention at the worst times!"

"UGH now I just painted an amazing picture but accidentally painted a thumb in the corner"

"I had phone sex for the first time the other day... My dick got stuck in the 8! I tried to dial 911 but that just made it worse! It was a rotary!"