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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard."

"Can't wait to sit in the doctor's office reception area so I can read how to fix meatloaf 3 ways & catch up on 1992."

"My therapy group is a joke. The doctor is supposed to match you with people you have something in common with but everyone here is nuts."

"What do you call a cunt squared? A box."

"""No, no, I said I'm a PEDALPHILE. I'm super into bicycling. So that's a no go on the job now, huh?"""

"I hope that the missing puzzle piece my 5 year old has been searching the house for has nothing to do with my 2 year old's burp."

"Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball."

"How does a American mom know her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son's cock"

"What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff"

"How do you answer the question ""What's new?"" without sighing really loudly first?"