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Joke of the Day

"A movie about my life would really just be two hours of someone waiting at a bus stop and still managing to miss the bus."

"The Jews may be the ""Chosen People""... ... But the Muslims are the ""Randomly Selected""."

"Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?? Yeah, it runs in your jeans..."

"Gaining Weight? ...It's a piece of cake!"

"What is a fat kids' favourite sounding instrument at school? The dinner bell."

"Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but how do you get them in there?"

"Do you know why sharks don't eat clowns? They taste funny."

"I don't know why people always make such a fuss about how much a newborn weighs. It's a baby, not a stash of cocaine."

"Bernie Sanders to ban Oral sex if he becomes president.... ""It's the only way I can get reddit to stop sucking my dick"" - he said."