160031
Joke of the Day
"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but how do you get them in there?"
Next Joke
"""Go ahead, caller...."" ""Mom, you have to stop answering your phone that way."""
"I log in facebook to see that everyone is at the bar... I go to the bar to see that everyone is on facebook."
"*opens front door to see Christmas carolers singing Please, I have a family"
"Told my wife that the doctor thinks I have irritable vowel syndrome. She said, ""I think you mean 'bowel'."" I said, ""Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."""
"The hairdresser's oath First, harm no 'do..."
"Two people who really hate each other can suddenly really like each other if they can find someone else they can both really hate together."
"[finding a secret passage in my NYC-apartment that leads to a corpse-filled torture dungeon] HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THIS EXTRA SPACE I HAVE!"
"Why do java coders wear glasses? Because they don't C#"
"[at interview] INTERVIEWER: Who inspires you? ME: Peter Piper. INTERVIEWER: What does he do? ME: It's difficult to say."