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Joke of the Day

"Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help."

"My shower has two settings: -Freezing Cold -The Ending of Terminator 2"

"Modern Medical Humor Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to read a medication bottle that says, ""May cause extreme sexiness"""

"Where would you find the scientist who loved to f$@k dogs? In the lab."

"I had a harder childhood than most. My parents didn't send me to a therapist, they sent me to a theanalrapist."

"Just gonna say... Number of times Leonard Cohen died before Trump was elected - 0 Number of times after - 1 Draw your own conclusions..."

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's probably s**t"

"What gets louder as its gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor."

"What technology are old people better at using than young people? Life support."

"Jokes about white sugar are common, but brown sugar? Demerara. "