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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why people always make such a fuss about how much a newborn weighs. It's a baby, not a stash of cocaine."

"The best thing about owning a Smart Car is when it gets dirty, you can just put it in the dishwasher."

"Are there any 6 foot penguins round here? Asked the stranger who just pulled up wih his truck outside a bar. ""No"" the barkeep replied. ""Well fuck,"" he said, ""I guess I just ran over a nun..."""

"I love the new sound reddit makes when you upvote a post"

"I'm always creeped out by the guy who seems to know the age of consent laws a little too well."

"6: Dad, why do you have so many nicknames for me? *I break down, no longer able to cover up that I can't remember my son's name"

"""Jimmy, why did you bring your cat to school?"" ""Because my dad said 'When Jimmy leaves for school, that pussy is getting smashed!"" Kind of a lame post, but it's my first on the joke thread :/"

"There's a new Batman coming out, but Batman is being played by an Asian? His alter-ego? Bruce Wang."

"Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch ? So he could bring his 'sub' on"

"How many points do you get if you hit a golfer? Fore."