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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys? Coach."

"I don't think I could be a mom. Listening to another person cry all night just seems awful & I wouldn't want to impose that on a baby."

"*walking in forest* *tree falls and makes a loud noise* WOAH *tree gets up* *tree pull a knife on me* ""You didn't hear SHIT"" *tree runs off*"

"What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat? One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different"

"I said ""I'm not going to repeat myself"""

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am...Can you believe that, 2:30am!? Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes"

"One time I ordered a diet coke but it didn't come on time. It said it had responsibilities in the Japanese government."

"What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton"

"Wife: Talk sexy to me Husband: Commencing garment extraction W: Huh? H: Initiating trouser disengagement W: ... H: Removing unmentionables"

"My Garden Statue Called In Sick Today He has Gnome-onia."