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Joke of the Day

"I don't think I could be a mom. Listening to another person cry all night just seems awful & I wouldn't want to impose that on a baby."

"What's hard, long and has cum in it? A Cucumber..."

"Second chances: When it just didn't hurt enough the first time."

"A termite walks into a bar... ...and asks, ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"when I played the Sims if a sim got hungry/tired I'd just delete them and replace them with a copy who was content so maybe no kids for me"

"What do you call a geologist who can't hear? Stone deaf..."

"Why wasn't Euro Disney popular? Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered."

"I had sex with my teacher yesterday... God damn it feels good to be homeschooled."

"Wife: Who is the prettiest of my friends? Me: your mother, why? W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again."

"What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do? Circuit training."