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Joke of the Day
"What pillar doesn't need holding up ? A caterpillar !"
Next Joke
"Hate weight limit signs in the elevator. Then I'm put in the awkward position of telling some pregnant woman she has to take the stairs."
"How did the pothead propose to his girlfriend? ""Marriage.. you wanna?"""
"My diet plan consists of getting a full body tattoo of some skinny dude."
"What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom? I've been framed."
"What's something 9 out of 10 people enjoy? [NSFW] [xpost /r/askmen] gang rape"
"When I die, my only wish is for my corpse to be respectfully catapulted onto a whitewater raft of people going down the Colorado river"
"How's it like living in a totalitarian regime? Can't complain."
"FITBIT: You've done 11k steps today. ME: Ok, I'll rest some. FITBIT: stop now and I'll murder you ME: What? FITBIT: I SAID GOOD FOR YOU!"
"Until you lean in to hear a seven-year-old's whisper, you don't realize that front teeth act as a retaining wall for spit."