138771

Joke of the Day

"Hate weight limit signs in the elevator. Then I'm put in the awkward position of telling some pregnant woman she has to take the stairs."

"What do you call a peanut butter jelly sandwich in Flint MI? Pb and j"

"Some people ask me why I never hold a grudge. I've always hated those people."

"I've changed my name to Yasiin Bey. It is very important to me personally and culturally that I am called by only this name from now on and I ask respect for my decision... said Mos Def"

"I'd like to think that my exes see me as ""the one who got away,"" but it's probably more like ""the one who got away from the police."""

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice. I know this is an old one but i didn't see on here so why not."

"How many people from Svalbard does it take to change a light-bulb? Light? What's that?"

"Did you hear Snow White got thrown out of Disney Land? They caught her sitting on Pinocchio's Face yelling ""Lie you little fucker"

"My lesbian neighbors got me two fake Rolex for my birthday.... I guess they misunderstood when I told them I wanted to watch"

"I wrote to the Bank: ""My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?"""