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Joke of the Day

"My diet plan consists of getting a full body tattoo of some skinny dude."

"Oscar Pistorius should be banned from the Olympics ...because he smoked Reeva"

"I wanted to make sure my kids were safe when they are playing outside.... So I put an ISIS flag in my window. Now my neighbors watch them 24/7."

"My mom learning how to use twitter is like the raptors figuring out how to open doors in Jurassic Park."

"Two guys were playing a game.... Guy 1 says ""Game"" Guy 2 lost the game You're guy 2 You lost the game"

"I'm gonna stay a virgin my entire life I wanna set a good example for my kids!"

"When i heard they had invented a cure for dyslexia.... It was music to my arse"

"If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type, I could lead in the Republican Primary polls."

"What's the difference between a Dominican and a Cuban? Dominicans are close, but no cigar"

"robber 1: *puts ski mask on head* you grab the money while i kiss all the bankers robber 2: huh? robber 1: uh i meant kill *hides lipstick*"