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Joke of the Day

"I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang"

"I'm an A-Z expert on Olympics now thanks to Rio! From Athletics to zika!"

"How many Marines does it take to change a lightbulb? Four, one to change it and three to comment on the changing."

"Those kids in Sudan would complain a lot less if they knew I struggled every day with having old people hands."

"What has antlers and sucks blood ? A moose-quito !"

"What's the fastest animal in the world? A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal? ... The ethiopian chasing it."

"Had a conversation with my ex-wife over a drink this afternoon. It was cordial."

"I have this idea tell me what you think? I say that we start the NBDBL (National blind dodge ball league) and then televise it. What are your thoughts on this?"

"my sex life is a lot like the bible mostly imaginary and with not much chance of a sequel"

"Did you hear about the guy who opened a cheese store in Israel? He called it ""Cheeses of Nazareth""."