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Joke of the Day

"I finally stopped my roomate from biting his nails. All i had to do was make him wear shoes."

"I just don't get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?"

"Why are burglars such good tennis players ? Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !"

"My girlfriend called me a racist I said that's an awfully big word for a midget."

"How long is a Chinese name."

"Which Donald Trump quote is both racist and misogynistic at the same time? No Juan has more respect for women than I do."

"Why is it called PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."

"At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting."

"My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me She is not a fan."

"I'm thinking about giving that Call of Duty game a shot, but first I'm gonna try one last time to get past level 4 on Duck Hunt."