143752

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the man who worked with horses his whole life? He had a stable job. I guess uh.. I'll just leave"

"Worried that Adele's next album might be delayed if she discovers Pinterest."

"My son asked me to explain women to him so I told him we'd go to lunch and talk about it, then spent the next 3 hours getting dressed."

"Kids, rap music has been around since 1979, we've all heard it. You aren't being edgy by playing it loudly at an intersection."

"[at a bar] *sees hot chick check me out* *writes note on napkin and asks bartender to give to her* *she reads note* ""STOP STARING IT'S RUDE"""

"I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas."

"How does a Jewish guy make beer? Hebrews it."

"Why did the scientist regret naming the organism ""Fungus""? Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy."

"What do you call a gay couch? A homo sectional."

"What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller? One's a crustacean and the other a crushed Asian."