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Joke of the Day

"How does a Jewish guy make beer? Hebrews it."

"Did you know: Wi-Fi is short for ""wireless fireless."" Pre-wi-fi all internet was fire based. Firewall, firewire, ""fire up the computer"" etc."

"BRAZIL: Can you describe your attacker? RYAN LOCHTE: You wouldn't know him. He goes to another Olympics. #LochteGate"

"I use head&shoulders Me: I use head&shoulders frequently Friend: But you dont have dandroof? Me: Exactly!"

"Two muffins are in a oven... the first muffin says, ""damn it's hot in here."", the second one says, ""holy crap a talking muffin!"""

"She told me my analogies didn't make any sense. It seriously made me feel like a biscuit in an elevator."

"Sometimes if I trip on a crack I act like it's no biggie by breaking into a jog and don't stop until I'm in a new city with a new life."

"Diet day 1 I have removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious."

"I started running back and forth repeatedly... ...and now my head hertz."

"Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential."