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Joke of the Day

"Why are women so bad at parking? Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives."

"How do you catch a Swedish fish? With a gummy worm as bait"

"You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body."

"Young mom: My baby is 34 months Me: Oh really I'm 407 months yeah I hope you like doing math you piece of shit"

"What do you call a cow... With three legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? That's right! Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? .... YOUR MOM."

"Wanna come back to my place & watch some p0rn on my 60 flat screen mirror?"

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg in a terrible car accident? He's all right now."

"I met a guy with a tattoo on his penis that said ""Shorty"". When he got an erection, it said ""Shorty's Truck Stop Chattanooga, Tennessee""."

"When I was young I did stupid things because I didn't know any better. Now I know better and do stupid things because I miss being young."

"Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death? He had a crush on her."