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Joke of the Day

"Business trip The wife asked me, ""When you're away on a business trip, do you think about me?"" Apparently ""Only to stop myself from coming too quickly"" wasn't the right answer."

Next Joke
 
"Facebook friend: If you can't handle me at my worst, then you- SHUT UP, SHANNON. YOU'RE *ALWAYS* AT YOUR WORST."
"*bites into tuba sandwich and breaks teeth* damn autocorrect"
"I like my woman like i like my coffee... Hot, wet, and all over my crotch"
"If I had to describe myself in one word... It would be, ""Unable to follow instructions."""
"What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein's monster? HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES."
"What was the deaf mans favorite song? The Sound of Silence."
"Wanna know the difference between a street performer and a hobo? The age"
"I saw Don Draper driving a toupee across a high-wire. Another character driven piece on cable."
"relationships are like farts too much force will result in shit"