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Joke of the Day

"Young mom: My baby is 34 months Me: Oh really I'm 407 months yeah I hope you like doing math you piece of shit"

"Spiderman: Can I be in The Avengers now? Captain America: Um sure. Spiderman: What should I do? Iron Man: You're in charge of web design."

"A man using Apple maps walks into a bar... Or maybe it was a hospital? Or possibly a church?"

"What do you call Italian marijuana? A pizza joint"

"The difference between a rooster and a lawyer? When the rooster wakes, his primal urge is to cluck defiance."

"I got my retainer today So pleathe excuthe me if i talk funny for a few dayth"

"The Vocabulary Theater is now open! I heard they have a clever word play!"

"I once farted in an elevator it was wrong on so many levels."

"I made a joke XD What do you call it when a soldier gets laid? *Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid? *Lies.*"

"What's Mario's favorite pants? Denim Denim Denim"