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Joke of the Day

"Young mom: My baby is 34 months Me: Oh really I'm 407 months yeah I hope you like doing math you piece of shit"

"Sometimes when I play a game on my computer, the screen goes dark and I see my own reflection in the screen and wonder what I am doin with my life ..then the next level starts."

"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income."

"I love the smell of moth balls, but I find it difficult to spread their tiny little legs."

"The worst thing about being bitten by a poisonous spider is... You're probably Australian"

"Larry the Cable Guy show debuts on History Channel. Hitler says he's thrilled to share his network with his favorite comic."

"A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto."

"How did the sheep get a Nobel Prize? It was out standing in its field!"

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last as long if you're fat."

"Before you reply angrily at a tweet, just ask yourself if you'd yell at a retarded kid for screaming irrelevant shit into a megaphone."