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Joke of the Day

"With 10K characters, I can finally get into great detail about how I'm not allowed at the company family picnic any more!"

"Why does an octopus have 8 tentacles instead of 6? (OC) Because even god thinks ""Sextapus"" sounds ridiculous. (Note: For purposes of this joke, god both exists, and prefers latin.)"

"If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor? Himalayan"

"Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion."

"Woke up this morning after a hard night of boozing, stepped on the scale and I lost 3 pounds. There ya have it. Dignity weighs 3 pounds."

"all i want for christmas this year is to get off all social media forever"

"What do you call the ghost who is a child-rearing expert? Dr Spook."

"Mickey Rourke needs to get beaten up at the beginning of every movie he's in so it explains his face."

"What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb? Driver"

"Every minute in america... Costs you 5 dollars."