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Joke of the Day

"the only exercise this month ive done is running out of money"

"Apple once made an iPhone with a headphone jack... It was very 6S-ful"

"I've written a book about reverse psychology Please don't buy it."

"In a recent survey into blow jobs, and why men like them so much 6% liked the feeling, 12% liked the excitement and 82% just like the peace and quiet."

"Doctor Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts and here... it hurts and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me? You have a broken finger!"

"How did Obama celebrate his reelection? He hosted a Democratic Party."

"When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport? Ten-ish."

"I feel like not enough people know about the situation in Yemen It's like no one knows Houthis guys are."

"What is Kim Jong Un's favourite food? Yellowcake."

"""Daddy, are vampires real?"" ""No, sweetie. Go back to bed."" *waits until daughter is asleep* *grabs red Sharpie* *draws 2 dots on her neck*"