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Joke of the Day

"Every minute in america... Costs you 5 dollars."

"I heard that Bill Clinton threw his support behind Bernie Sanders He misheard. He thought the campaign slogan was *Feel the Intern*."

"Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ""I think I've lost my electron."" The other says, ""Are you sure?"" The first replies, ""Yes, I'm positive..."""

"Why didn't the ghost have any babies? Because he had a Halloweenie! (Hollow-weenie)"

"Hey, say what you want about pedophiles... ...at least they slow down in school zones."

"For me, eating fast food is like going out on a date and finding out the person you're with is racist. Either way, you're going to end up alone in your apartment using up all the toilet paper."

"They're relea$ing two $eparate film$ ba$ed on the 3rd book in the'Hunger Game$' trilogy. I'm $hocked. Totally $urpri$ing."

"My favorite part about ordering a salad on the first date is going into the bathroom and eating 6 mini donuts."

"It was obvious from the camera angle it was AMC killing it's viewers. #TWDfinale"

"Q: What did the leprotic john say to the hooker? A: Keep the tip."