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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the ghost who is a child-rearing expert? Dr Spook."

"News: Coleen Rooney has flown out to Brazil with her two sons to be with Wayne until England's World Cup campaign is over. That's nice bit far to go for a weekend though if you ask me."

"My friend died today... He wasn't able to speak, but in his dying moments he wanted me to have his EpiPen. I'll cherish it forever."

"I was at a gay nineties party last night. All the men were gay and all the women were ninety."

"Five emos in a room A study has shown that if you put five emos in a room, one of them will eventually kill himself because he wont have a corner to cry in."

"If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with"

"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull."

"What part of the computer the astronaut likes the most? A space bar."

"[white house staff meeting] Obama: Any questions? *Biden raises hand* Obama: Spongebob is yellow Joe. *Biden returns to coloring book*"

"Making dinner in a slow cooker involves two of my favorite things: food and panicking that I've left an appliance on for seven hours."