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Joke of the Day
"Had phone sex then I got hearing aids. EDIT: then"
Next Joke
"Doctor is rummaging through his bag looking for a pen... He pulls out a rectal thermometer instead, ""Ah goddammit some asshole has my pen!"""
"Shout out to people who rate & review things cuz I don't like to rate or review things but I like to know how things are rated & reviewed"
"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years. Its not like I have 2020 vision. Sad part is this joke is only good for another hour."
"how is Duct Tape like The Force? It has a Dark side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together."
"What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell"
"Next time you're on an elevator with a stranger say, ""If the doors open and it's all zombies, let's team up."""
"Rape is not a laughing matter. Unless your raping a clown. (Probably been posted here a 1000 times but it still cracks me up)"
"Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than throwing them a surprise party."
"Just killed a butterfly. Let's see how this changes all future events."