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Joke of the Day

"how is Duct Tape like The Force? It has a Dark side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together."

"I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close."

"'It's a pity you've gone on hunger strike' said the convict's girlfriend on visiting day. 'Why ?' 'I've put a file in your cake.'"

"Bono and a Lightbulb How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world."

"A married couple walks into a bar."

"What is a teenage girl's best friend? Passive-Aggression"

"When a band has Z's where S's should be in their name, I'm like, ""Woah, watch out! These bad boys aren't playing by society's rules."""

"I bought my wife a pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself. (Shamelessly stolen from Craig Ferguson)"

"What's used to calculate binomial coefficients and eaten on Passover? A Paschal Triangle!"

"Why is the ocean blue? Because all the fish in there goes ""bloo bloo bloo"""