27561
Joke of the Day
"Just killed a butterfly. Let's see how this changes all future events."
Next Joke
"All dates are 'blind dates.' The biological structure of fruit plants do not allow eye growth, therefore rendering them incapable of sight."
"Don't call it a comeback.. .. It's mostly in your hair."
"Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again."
"What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing he didn't recognize them!"
"I was watching porn when an ad popped up. It said, ""Want a bigger penis??"" I thought, ""Yes. That's why I'm watching porn."""
"5 years ago, I asked the love of my life on a date. Yesterday, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times. Posted this on r/funny and was told to post it here also."
"The human soul weighs 1.2lbs... I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work."
"I wish airplanes flapped their wings and shit on cars"
"""Why is life so hard?"" - Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter."