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Joke of the Day

"If Hilary and Trump were to be stranded on an island, who would survive? America."

"I'm sure there'll be some making distasteful jokes about Williams' death. How annoying for them that he would have thought of funnier ones."

"Brain: Compliment her eyes Me: Yeah? Brain: Trust me ""YOUR EYES ARE BLUE LIKE BLUEBERRIES & THEY'RE PROBABLY SQUISHY TOO."" Brain: Perfect!"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"A seal walks into a bar.... And the bartender says, ""what are you going to have?"" The seal replies, ""anything except Canadian club."""

"They add a scent to natural gas so we can smell it if there's a leak and we're in danger. Same reason Axe Body Spray has a scent."

"What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand!"

"Caught a taxi home last night from the market. Forgot I had no money. Thankfully the driver let me pay in cabbage"

"I'm starting a magazine called ""Jugs"". It's mostly about pottery."

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines"