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Joke of the Day
"""My bad"" and ""I'm sorry"" mean the same thing Unless you're at a funeral."
Next Joke
"If Pingu started a metal band... It would be called Slipnoot"
"Why are antivax parents so afraid of their kids getting autism? Because they know, first hand, how hard life is when you're a fucking retard."
"I was in Starbucks the other day and I saw a guy who dropped his coffee on the floor by mistake..... I said to the man ""wow, you actually dropped it like it's hot"""
"Just ate McDonalds after working out, which is the same as taking a shit after a shower."
"Did you hear about the monster who went to a holiday camp? He won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and he wasn't even entered."
"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a child, you're not going to like it as an adult."
"All my hostile pals are in hospitals."
"Under the sea, under the sea...wouldn't the water pressure crush mermaids, realistically?"
"Why is there so much segregation today? All Fridays Matter"