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Joke of the Day

"People who use a vacation day the day after Christmas to have relatives over clearly don't understand the meaning of the word vacation."

"What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? Dam."

"I keep getting a pain when driving where the road goes under the river, but only when I have other people in the car. The doctor says it's car pool tunnel syndrome."

"What do blind trains read? Raile!"

"What's the difference between hardware and software? A floppy dick"

"Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period."

"I like a good long fiction piece... So I picked up the Bible at my local book store."

"I'm being sued by some atoms I think the court case will go fine, though. The judge knows they make everything up."

"Wish I had the confidence of a small child having a meltdown at the shopping mall."

"Me: ""Get me a newspaper.""Friend: ""Don't be silly. Here. Borrow my iPad."" Poor spider never knew what hit it."