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Joke of the Day

"ok he'res funny joke lol."

"Everyone is a genius until they try to use their friend's microwave."

"A man was caught having sex with the Venus de Milo... ...he was charged with statutory rape"

"At the dinner table.. Dad: So how's college these days, kid? what classes are you taking? Kid: Intro to linguistics. Ugh, it's a shitty course. Dad: Language!"

"i forgot to mention those pills i gave you might turn you into a sloth [jim is typing] [jim is typing] [jim is typing] [jim is typing] ""ok"""

"Why does a milking stool have only three legs? Because the cow has the udder!"

"Can you eat me out? What are you doing?! I just wanted some of your pot brownie."

"Why did the calendar die? It's days were numbered."

"[interview] Okay, don't let him know ur a vampire. ""What kind of person do u see when u look in the mirror?"" OH COME ON"

"I'm starting to wish I were a werewolf so I'd have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there."