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Joke of the Day
"I've just accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles... My next shit could spell disaster!"
Next Joke
"[3 days into dieting] *sees ad for burger & fries* *drowns in his own saliva*"
"How do tacos fair in a war? They tend to be shells of their former selves"
"Birthdays they keep track of how long you've been alive And how long you haven't been inside a vagina"
"Me: Pack your bags.I won the lottery! G/F: Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff? Me: Doesn't matter, just get out."
"I'm gonna sell my vacuum cleaner. It's just collecting dust"
"My friend told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said maybe"
"What do you call a cow in a Russian forest? A moss-cow. Alternative answer: dead."
"Hm. Not sure whether to scold my son for chasing the cat or thank the cat for excersizing my son..."
"I just changed the clock in my car to show the actual time here comes the good life"