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Joke of the Day

"Birthdays they keep track of how long you've been alive And how long you haven't been inside a vagina"

"It's only Ultimate Frisbee if someone dies"

"Today I saw ""Jesus doesn't care about your grades"" written on the sidewalk in chalk and all I could think was ""Thank god, he'd be pissed"""

"What does an old lady's crotch taste like? Depends."

"What is eternity? Two self-conscious guys taking a shit in a public restroom."

"a lawyer, a priest, and a gangster walk into a bar bartender says, ""what is this, a joke??"""

"FBI offers to help France investigate the terrorist attacks. So far, they think North Korea is behind it."

"Can I sleep over at your house tonight? There's too much stuff on my bed"

"Why didn't the math professor with a speech impediment get any work done? He was always mathturbating."

"My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Countdown with them ""What's that?"", I replied, ""Dracula's retarded brother?"""