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Joke of the Day
"Pretentious? Moi?"
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"so a polar bear walks into a bar and says: ""i'd like a...................................... beer."" and the bartender says: ""hey man, what's with the big pause?"""
"[out to eat with in-laws] Me: Waiter, your cheapest bottle of champagne Wife: Hey these are my parents Me: Waiter, 4 glasses of tap water"
"A French man asks... ""Do you even lift, breaux?"""
"Donald Trump is said to have lack of foreign policy experience to be president, but in fairness, he has spent time meeting with foreign leaders around the world. Ms. Sweden, Ms. Argentina..."
"You hear about the guy who got lost in Africa? He didn't know where Togo."
"I like my coffee like I like my women ... Hot, wet, and all over my crotch."
"A guy found his dog lying in a puddle of blood behind his house He rang the number for the emergency animal rescue. 'Is it moving?' they asked. 'Yes', he replied. 'It's quite emotional.'"
"I'm worried about DeNiro's mole."
"Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things."