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Joke of the Day

"Pretentious? Moi?"

"Do you know how fast you were going sir? ""15,000mph?"" Wha? No,like 65? ""Seems pretty slow wouldn't you say?"" I guess so. ""Ok bye"" bye?"

"what do you call a 5 man group all asians and makes gay music k-pop!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia? Because he was a dirty double crosser."

"[Morgan Freeman narrating my life] ""He's still sleeping."""

"Why was the pilot dying? Because he had terminal cancer."

"What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs? I can't remember."

"College doesn't prepare you for holding in farts in the workplace."

"I went to a Halloween party where everyone was dressed like a sore thumb Not me, no, I stuck out like a vicar."

"What's Donald Trump's favorite sport, according to CNN? Dodgeball."