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Joke of the Day

"so a polar bear walks into a bar and says: ""i'd like a...................................... beer."" and the bartender says: ""hey man, what's with the big pause?"""

"When a coworker pisses me off, I like to write his name down for 23 boxes of girl scout cookies on the form in the break room"

"My wife said: Pls go to shop & buy a carton of Milk & if they have eggs, get six. I came back with Six cartons of Milk & told they had eggs."

"I cant use facebook cuz everyone making popular comment I wish I thought of first, like ""thank God it Friday!"" or ""Im pregnant of baby"""

"What do elves learn in school? The Elf-abet! "

"Can I play Piano? A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? B: Yes, of course. A: Great! I never could before!"

"I walk away from auto-flush toilets like movie stars walk away from explosions"

"Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too."

"The early bird might get the worm, but The second mouse *always* gets the cheese"

"Nigel Farage walks into a bar Convinces the patrons to set it on fire, and then leaves."