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Joke of the Day

"I went to the movies with a girl last night. I paid for the tickets & the snacks, & anything else I can before she reports her card stolen."

"Roadside sign holders are secretly geniuses because they get paid to do something a pole does for nothing."

"Don't email me a link to a 6 minute youtube video. I wouldn't watch a video that long if in contained clues to solve my own murder."

"WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram."

"Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?"

"I like to sit on my hands until they go numb so it feels like somebody else is doing my dishes."

"What do you do when someone has an epileptic fit in the bathtub? Throw in the laundry."

"Women are a lot like tennis rallies Occasionally, a back hand is needed to stay in control"

"My friend was doing impersonations of The A-Team. I told him they were amazing. You should have seen his Face..."

"How many feminists does it take to screw a lightbulb? One to screw it in and nine to write on their blogs about how enlightening the experiment was."