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Joke of the Day

"*At the pearly gates* St Peter: Welcome to heaven. I'll show you around. Me: Sooo many oysters must've died to make this gate."

"Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars? Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!"

"I was offered a threesome with a Japanese guy but I turned it down, after all, you know what they say about Japanese penises... ...they're really blurry."

"What is any guy's dream first job? A blowjob"

"How many libertarians? How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. The market will take care of it."

"""Our toes look nothing like that!"" - Camels"

"Watching Jeopardy backwards would be about a panel of 3 people asking Alex Trebek questions that he always gets right."

"Your boss will respect you more if you sometimes disagree, especially if you touch their face and say ""You silly goose."""

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to sell oranges by the side of the highway."

"Dude, I'd love to go out with you, but this one person 80s dance party in my living room isn't going to host itself."