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Joke of the Day

"Canadians leaving south for vacation are like Americans escaping marriage, desperately trying to escape frigid temperatures..."

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"""Can I watch you open it?"" -Weird UPS guy"
"What Do You Call A 7 Second Minecraft Video? VINECRAFT DO IT FOR THE MINE XD"
"Why do they call it the XBOX 360? Because you turn 360 and walk away!!"
"Babies are like Starbucks because they're expensive as shit and yet you still forget them on the roof of your car"
"I take pictures of my weed because they say the camera adds 10 pounds."
"How do you throw an egg at the wall without breaking it? With the chicken still around it"
"Mom, Am I adopted? Son: Mom, Am I adopted? Mom: Nuh, you think we would have chosen you?"
"My black cat just ate my four leaf clover. That can't be good......."
"Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up."