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Joke of the Day

"Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up."

"I'm not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom."

"What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster."

"Existentialist, nihilist, cynic... An existentialist, a nihilist and a tired from life cynic walk into a bar. And the bartender says: ""Sorry guys, the bar's 18+ only"""

"Funny how you go in to get a face-lift to look younger but just end up looking like other women with face-lifts."

"To the question What are you doing here?' 72% answered negative."

"Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before social interactions, very helpful."

"Why did the Christmas tree get thrown in prison? Treeson."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink"

"What did the parrot say when he saw a duck? Polly want a quacker!"