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Joke of the Day
"Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up."
Next Joke
"There once was a fellow McSweeny... Who spilled some gin on his weenie. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, Then slipped his girlfriend a martini!"
"How did Jesus feel after the last supper? A bit cross."
"Human drinks a Vampire's blood. Out of curiosity, the Vampire asks what it tastes like. ""It's irony."""
"What do you call a man with no shins? Tony"
"In my next life, I'd like to come back as one of those girls who ""forgets"" to eat."
"It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living."
"What did the gay guy say to his lover when they were going on vacation? ""Hey, can you help me pack my shit?"""
"Using a macbook is like making love to a woman There are so many things to do with your fingers, but none of them work."
"M R Ducks Person 1: M R Ducks. Person 2: M R Not. Person 1: O S A R. C M Wangs? Person 2: L I B. M R Ducks! My grandmother told me this when I was 5ish. Don't know why it cracks me up."