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Joke of the Day

"I take pictures of my weed because they say the camera adds 10 pounds."

"Titanic sank 103 years ago... ...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO!"

"Better to be somebody's dog than everybody's BITCH !!! Every dog will have his day, remember ?"

"Did you hear about the Woodstock Killer? He was charged for murder within tents."

"Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? A: Missile toe."

"*Ok, don't let them know you're a dog* Him: The job is yours. Here's the keys to your new office. [tosses keys] *catches keys in my mouth*"

"Ok fine, I'll weigh in: every museum needs to lose that one room that's just old bowls."

"What's Beethoven's favourite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA!"

"Why was 56 scared? Because 28 8 1."

"What's the difference between a female and a freezer? A freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat into it!"