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Joke of the Day

"-buys lottery ticket -fantasizes about winning the lottery -smiles -loses lottery -resumes general hatred for life"

"""I'm into homosexual necrophilia."" ...Tom said, in dead earnest."

"Who just rang my doorbell? Its either: 1. A murderer 2. The police 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking"

"I had my first UFO experience this morning I walked into the kitchen and said to the missus ""Morning fat ass"". Next thing there were flying saucers coming at me from everywhere!"

"Justin Beiber's entire entourage has abandoned him... after hearing you can catch cancer from cunts."

"I wake up every day in a house built by slaves -Melania Trump, 2020"

"Where do hamburgers go to dance? To a meatball."

"it is pretty silly joke... what is the similarity between cops and dick!!!! they can stand anywhere any time.."

"What's a redditor's favourite sword move? Riposte!"

"What is Miley Cyrus's favorite color? Twerquoise"