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Joke of the Day

"How do dogs like to have sex? RUFF!"

"What comes after 69? Neither Alan Rickman nor David Bowie"

"Remember: You don't owe anybody anything. Unless they killed someone for you. Then they probably deserve a nice gift card."

"What's difference between 10 dead babies and Lamborghini? I don't have Lamborghini in my garrage"

"Is your refrigerator running? Because if so I would vote for it."

"Waiter: Do you have any questions about the menu? Me: Did you laminate these yourself?"

"Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television."

"if u went back in time to kill hitler, itd be easier to kil pre-war hitler but then all the germans woud b like ""yo why did u kill that kid"""

"Why do Australians take forever to play chess? Because they never make it past the first check, mate."

"What do you give the guy who has everything? Penicillin"