56665

Joke of the Day

"Who just rang my doorbell? Its either: 1. A murderer 2. The police 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking"

"How do you make a whore moan? You don't pay her."

"Why does a chicken coup have two doors? If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"Donald Trump's first act in office will probably be to illegalize all shredded cheese. He will Make America Grate Again."

"What does it take to kill a joke bad timing"

"I don't drink anymore ...or any less, still too much."

"There are two types of people in life... Those who think there are two types of people in life and the rest."

"Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? Women working at 900 numbers."

"Lady pulled away with the gas pump still in her car and I was like OMG who's your dealer?"

"Wow, you've got a lot of hickeys Kris. Me: Busy weekend *winks *remembers wrestling that octopus at the aquarium for giving me side eye."