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Joke of the Day

"Based on my hair this morning . I think I might be a muppet ."

"A hot babe said we could have sex if monkeys fly out of her ass, so tonight I meet with a zoologist, proctologist and some guy from NASA."

"A Magician's 3rd trick is usually a Hat-Trick."

"Jose was embarassed of his weight. No weigh Jose"

"Knock knock... Who's there? I did up. I did up-who?"

"Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!"

"Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy."

"When asked which is more important looks or brains? 9 out of 10 zombies said ""braaaaiiiiinnnnssss"" number 10 ate the researcher."

"Wanna go out with me? Make an awkward face for yes. Name the entire periodic table for no."

"I like my whiskey like I like my women... Underage and sexy."