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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck... I'll see myself out now."

"KiK? Nope. I only joke about divorce. I'm not committed to it actually happening."

"Q: Did you hear about the Polak who married an Amish woman? A: He drove her buggy."

"The Art of Camouflage by Ruff Buttsex."

"Wife just got me a new tv for Christmas! Looks like my New Years resolution is 1080."

"Just learned how to masturbate. It comes in handy."

"How do like really laid-back types answer the phone? Mellow."

"The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless... I was like, 0mg!"

"GOD: there, my first animal :) SNAKE:youre not done right? How am I supposed to move? G:like this*shimmies* S: G:just kinda*shimmies* S:dude"

"Girls are only after me for my money. That is why no girls are after me."