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Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...ground up and in the freezer."
Next Joke
"What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he's masturbating? His ears. Oooo! I get to say it! ""Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!"" Oh yea, and ""RIP my inbox"" Good times!"
"What do you call two gay rednecks? Super Smash Brothers"
"When people ask how I got the latest movies on my computer.. I respond by telling them my lovely bay with hella booty gives them to me.arggg"
"Don't be sad, laundry. nobody's doing me either"
"I can't come into work today *cough* I'm really sick. ""Do I hear Mario Kart in the background?"" *hangs up*"
"Licking whiskey off your keyboard in the morning is something everyone does, right?"
"No, autocorrect, I'm not ""pooping"" popcorn. Not now anyway. Later, yes, but I don't plan to text about it."
"My girlfriend fell and got a bruise on her ass. It was nasty. and the bruise was ugly too."
"I got probed by an alien last night Its true what they say, Mexicans do work good with their hands"