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Joke of the Day

"No, autocorrect, I'm not ""pooping"" popcorn. Not now anyway. Later, yes, but I don't plan to text about it."

"What did dracula say to his girlfriend when she asked about sex? ""I only do oral once a month"""

"i need a reasonably paying job. something like $6,000 an hour, nothing too wild."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chickpea? Trump has never had a garbanzo on his face."

"apparently some people have been using wind to take the leaves from my frontyard and put them other places. they are still mine regardles"

"What do you call a con artist panda? A bamboozler"

"In recent years the number of UFO sightings has dropped because of the smart phone. Their users never look up."

"Why does Shang Tsung always enjoy a religious song from Finland? Because it's a Finnish hymn."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered six offender"

"Theres no point in tailgating me when I'm going 50 in a 35 zone Also, those red flashing lights on your car look ridiculous"