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Joke of the Day

"I can't come into work today *cough* I'm really sick. ""Do I hear Mario Kart in the background?"" *hangs up*"

"You aren't going to believe who is the most wonderful person ever... Read the first two words"

"John regrets getting a brain transplant. I guess he changed his mind."

"I found The Theory Of Everything It was in the blu-ray box at Walmart."

"I'll bring a knife to a knife fight because I have common sense. Idiots."

"Socialist jokes aren't funny.... Unless everybody gets them."

"What do you get when an ice-cream truck breaks down on the side of the road? A cold shoulder."

"My buddy purchased a book called ""Double Your Dating"" So I asked him if he could multiply 0 X 2."

"I didn't realize the dark backstory of some of these Disney characters. Like, Goofy is brain damaged from untreated syphilis."

"What does the blind man say when he passes the fish market? Good morning, ladies!"