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Joke of the Day

"Got so drunk last week that I married a thermostat Talk about turning the heat up on a relationship."

"You don't need to write ""imo"". Nobody is confusing your tweets with Nietzsche."

"JUDGE: I may send u to jail. But if u act less condescending, I'll let u go free ME [waving goodbye to my family] u mean condescendingLY"

"These quad copters just can't seem to leave the news... The media and hobbyists just keep droning on and on about them"

"Two medical students are about to witness an autopsy for the first time... One asks the other, ""What do you think it'll be like?"" The other student shrugs and says, ""Remains to be seen""."

"If anything I post offends you, please, please bring it to my attention so I can delete you off my friends list."

"An old joke, regardless its still hilarious. A cheetah would never cheat on his wife. But a Tiger Would."

"I don't like holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly you shouldn't either."

"My friend hasn't had a bite all day. So I bit him."

"Why do Russians love pho? Because they're SO-VIET"