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Joke of the Day

"Got so drunk last week that I married a thermostat Talk about turning the heat up on a relationship."

"I snort a lot of cocaine for a sober person."

"The Ford Escort was named after Henry Ford's love for high-priced hookers. Ironically, you'll have to pay for sex if you drive one."

"if anyone has reason for these two not to wed, speak now or forever hold y- [brides dad stands up] ""SHE BRUSHES HER TEETH WITH HOT WATER"""

"clean jokes What did one cookie say to the other cookie ? You've got a chip on your shoulder. What did the deer say to the bear? Your unbearable"

"Two muffins are in a tin in the oven. One says to the other, ""man it's hot in here."" The other says, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"I exercise religiously I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week."

"I rang up British Telecom, I said, ""I want to report a nuisance caller"", he said ""Not you again"". "

"The first person to ride a horse was probably pretty fucking drunk."

"Why couldn't the lizard be aroused? He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)"