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Joke of the Day

"My Daughter wants a Cinderella-themed party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house."

"My reddit secret santa gave me what I have really been wanting for quite some time now.... They fucked me."

"What's green and german? Snotzis."

"If short people smoke weed... If short people smoke weed, do they get high or medium."

"How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid."

"What is the difference between pink and purple? The grip."

"update: the light went out in my fridge so i had to eat everything so it wouldn't get scared"

"Is your food spicy Sir ? No smoke always comes out of my ears !"

"Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn't change color? He had *a reptile dysfunction*."

"Him: My brother wants us all to go camping together next summer. Me: Can't go, I'm allergic. Him: To what? Me: Everything you just said."